Conflict
Inevitably, conflict with other people will occur, and lots of advice came through on this, too. One member said that a simple phrase, ‘you could be right’, has deescalated many an argument, especially ones other people think they’re having with you but they’re really just arguing for the sake of it. She said another phrase that works is ‘I’m sorry’. Being agreeable apparently annoys people who are having a rant.
Another participant had a pertinent piece of advice: If she doesn’t feel something is okay, then she says it straight out, refusing to hold it in anymore. She said being civil and identifying the fact that she doesn’t like something works out better and deescalates situations faster.
I love both pieces of advice. They’re gold. Two other pieces of golden advice were:
- It’s important to remember in an argument that sometimes it’s not you, it’s them. Sometimes you’re not at fault at all.
- In other instances, we just click with some people and not with others, and that’s okay, too.
Other things that were mentioned in the Coffee Morning:
Overthinking
Overthinking came up a few times. It can be a hard habit to kick. We build things up in our heads and even project them onto other people, often forming ideas of others that are misconceptions.
It’s worth trying to kick the habit, though, or to talk about things or write them out if our overthinking is bringing us down.
Nobody is perfect
It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect. We’re all vulnerable and a little messed up, with insecurities, and are struggling in our own way. It was agreed that we need to be less hard on ourselves and others, and we need to learn to trust ourselves and those we interact with.
Ego
An interesting point was made about ego, which is what separates us from other people. We all need it but it’s important to keep it in check. People can have inflated egos, and I’m sure we all know someone who has one. They can also be deflated, which manifests as a lack of self-belief.
Cold Water
Another thing mentioned was the Vagus Nerve and the effects that cold water can have on you, either when you swim in it or when you use it to wash your face or hands. It’s a way of grounding yourself and can be helpful for some people.
A cold dip in the sea has been a growing phenomenon over the last few years. It can make some feel less anxious or wake others up and put them in a great mood for the day. A couple of members mentioned how it feels great to get into the sea when it’s raining.
Please join us on our next Coffee Morning…
The monthly coffee mornings are going to stay online for the next few months, with the next live catch-up happening on Monday, August 9th at 11 a.m.
Anyone is welcome to pop in to say hello and listen or contribute to the conversation, which is always easy-going and cordial. Registration in advance is necessary to receive an email zoom link on the morning.